A Philosophical​ Debate regarding Grilled Cheese

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Dramas, please.

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Yeah.

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This is life

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with a twist of lemon.

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So how are we doing, John? Doing well, Stan. How are you?

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You know, I'm alright.

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So

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having done a bonus round

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on

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Marvel's Captain Marvel,

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is this a bonus round on Iowa? Is that what this episode is? No. This is your regularly

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scheduled lemon here Yeah. But to release on a Thursday.

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The topics are all Iowa,

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aren't they? Aren't all the topics always Iowa because I live here? No. No. No. No. No. No. But I I do feel like this is a little bit of a continuation

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of our Iowa episode.

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Let's just see where we go, Stan. I'm sure it will be fine.

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Speaking of that Captain Marvel episode that we released on Saturday after we both saw the movie, That is now our most liked post on Facebook.

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We may have boosted it, have paid for those likes, but I've learned valuable lessons along the way.

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Alright.

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How are we doing on the downloads? Don't give me a number, but are are we are we in competition with So episode?

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So what I found is that

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while people are happy to like the post or react to the post,

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I haven't really seen an uptick in downloads or

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yeah.

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Visit to the website, clicks on the link. So Guy can hope. I gotta work on my marketing copy for the next one we boost. I'm still pulling for episode listener number 10. You're out this number. 10. We have

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oh, yeah. We only have nine written reviews, but we have 17 people who have clicked those five stars on iTunes.

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Yeah. But I count for at least four of them.

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How do you did you pull that off? I have different iCloud accounts, different iTunes store accounts.

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Alright.

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I only count for one. So Just remember, after

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your Gmail address, you can put a plus Right. One, plus two, plus three as many times as you want. Sounds annoying. Why don't you write some reviews, Stan?

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I so I I have a draft,

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but the vanity is so thick that I think that people would be People know it's you. Yeah. Yeah.

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I'm okay with that, surprisingly, just so that we can get to our tenth written review on iTunes. Yeah. You you would think, like, we're at the point of almost begging for this tenth review. You are giving away free life with the Twist of Lemon stickers.

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Not only that. Now I'm giving away two two stickers to,

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review number 10 reviewer number 10. There you go. We offer to buy them a ticket to Avengers Endgame?

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No. That's too far. That's too far. Because I already have the stickers. That doesn't cost me any money with the postage.

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Alright.

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Mean, take it to what? So I guess it depends on what market. But Yeah. Well and actually, this okay. This is a good segue.

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So I in in my mind,

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IMAX was, like, the best you could do. Right? But apparently, there's this new Dolby

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Dolby's oh my gosh. Sound like I'm making a Harry Potter reference. Dolby

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Cinema. Muscular.

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Apparently, this Dolby Cinema thing, which is supposed to be better. Have you heard about this?

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I haven't. I live in Cedar Rapids.

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Marcus

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Cinemas just took over our Wehrenberg location.

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So Marcus is very, very popular

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in Wisconsin.

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That's where they started out, and they're slowly expanding.

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They have the ultra screen.

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What does that even mean? It's really, really big.

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Okay. It has better sound stuff too, but it's not like IMAX. No.

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So I but there's no difference in frame rates or any of that or even resolutions, just bigger? So

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I think there's an ultra max at some theaters now, which may have better frame rates or faster frame rates. I wouldn't necessarily call them better.

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All I know is that when I saw this at the Indiana State Museum's IMAX Theater,

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it was so crisp. I could barely believe it. Yeah. So I I believe in my heart of hearts that there's gotta be some,

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like, increase in resolution or something going on there to compensate for that. Fair enough. I digress because this Dolby Cinema, apparently,

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the the sound system's improved and the seats

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vibrate

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in response to the movie.

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So it's kinda like that,

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alien ride in Magic Kingdom? I guess it's Lilo and Stitch now, but it's still pretty much the alien ride.

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There's a Lilo and Stitch ride in the Magic Kingdom? So it's not really a ride. You, like, sit in this big circle,

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and there's, like, this canister that Alien used to be in that you would look, and then they have, like it's this four d experience where

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they used fly you're not thinking of Monsters Inc?

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Is it Monsters Inc now? It was alien the first time I went there, then it was Lilo and Stitch, and Stitch, like, slobbered all over you.

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I don't I'm gonna have to look into this. I do know that at Hollywood Studios, there is the Muppet four d experience, which does sort of that. Yeah.

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I will have to look into this. So for the next time You should know him better than I do. So Yeah. Well Yeah. I'll be there soon soon enough. So vibrating seats, is this where we're seeing Avengers Endgame?

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I don't know. So I don't know when the tickets go on sale.

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And consequently,

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I'm not entirely sure.

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Yeah. Like, it makes me nervous. Right? I wanna know when they come out so that I can buy them exactly when they're available and get us good seats.

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But, you know, the anticipation just makes me sweat bullets. This begs the question,

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where do you prefer to sit in the movie theater?

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Smack dab in the middle. K.

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And and just to be clear, like, in a theater that has a lower section and an upper section, I'm just referring to the upper section. Literally,

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middle row The lower section doesn't exist.

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Exactly. So middle row, middle column, that's my ideal spot. You know, you get kinda, like, square on with the the picture.

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But I I'll be honest with At the Indiana State Museum at least, that IMAX theater, I'm not sure there's actually a bad seat in that entire theater, if you can imagine.

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It's one of those, like, concaved,

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setups. It's it's pretty legit.

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So me being the introvert and borderline claustrophobic,

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generally, I like to be on the end of an aisle.

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No.

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No. Uh-huh. So So I can assure you that when I buy our endgame seats,

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you will be sitting next to someone.

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Between you and Patrick. There

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you go. Let's let's stick with that.

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Now you and Patrick need to be next to each other because you'll geek out, and I'll have no idea what's going on. So

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Yeah. You'll be able to keep up. It'll be fine. I actually haven't heard he hasn't told

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us what he thought of our episode. So, Patrick, if you still listen, we're a little disappointed, buddy. We are.

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We should almost take this video and post it on YouTube because this is kinda cool. I can see you, Stan.

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Well, we're able to play off each other rather than talk over each other when we stream the video with the audio.

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Right.

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Somewhat because

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I'm still just gonna talk whenever I'm gonna talk.

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There you go. Keep it real, John. Anyways. Listen.

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Iowa round two. That's what this episode's all about. Right. So we had one thing in particular in the Iowa episode that we said we would follow-up on, and that was the milkshake

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that started this all.

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And then,

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we've also we had an experience that I think is worthy of this podcast that has to do with grilled cheeses. How do you wanna tackle this? Do you wanna do grilled cheese first, you wanna do milkshake first? We talk about milkshakes too much, so let's start with grilled cheese. Okay. Alright. We need to fit cocktails in here somewhere too because we had more cocktails that I want your take on.

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I thought we talked about all of those.

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No. Because I made you the Negroni after we recorded.

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Oh, that's right. Okay. But okay. So

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a grilled cheese, we had this experience in the Nubo District, which I learned on this trip that Nubo stands for New Bohemia.

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Correct? Correct.

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And you've got, like, a little market district or something going on. Is that right? So we have Nubo City Market,

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and it basically serves as an incubator

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for

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this kind of physical shops and food places and stuff like that. So the goal is to get them to grow in that space so they can move out to their own space.

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So we needed lunch after recording the podcast, and you said, hey. Why don't we go get a grilled cheese sandwich? And so in my mind, right, this is two pieces of white bread with yellow cheese in between it,

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and I'm probably gonna get soup with it maybe, tomato soup, something like that. Like, that's Right. That's what I envisioned. What what was the name of this place? City Melt.

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City Melt. Okay. So you said grilled cheese. We went there,

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and you and I both got a sandwich, we swapped halves so we could try some more. I got, what, the the piggy? Is that Yeah. It had pulled pork on it.

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K. I don't remember what kind of cheese these were.

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Was it Gouda? It might have been Gouda. Could have been Gouda. Yeah. And then you got a buffalo sandwich? I got the buffalo chicken grilled cheese.

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Okay.

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So here's my problem.

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I I am not convinced that what we ate was a grilled cheese. Now, I think it was a delicious sandwich. It was fantastic. I would order it again,

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but I'm not convinced that's a grilled cheese. So I ask you, mister Kolmeier,

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how do you define a grilled cheese sandwich?

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Was it grilled?

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Did it have cheese?

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That's it.

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I think that the cheese has to be on the sandwich before you grill it. So, like, if you toast a hamburger bun on the grill and

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it ends up being a cheeseburger, not entirely sure that counts.

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Okay. So the difference between a grilled cheese sandwich and a cheeseburger

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is applying the cheese after

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the sandwich has been cooked. Is that what I hear you saying? That could be.

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That could be. Okay. Alright. So, John, how would you how would you distinguish a, say, turkey melt

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from a grilled cheese sandwich?

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I think that turkey melts are generally made in a skillet and not on a grill.

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Oh, okay, John. Help me understand what the difference

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between the cooking surface of a skillet

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and a grill are, because I'm pretty sure that the grill at City Melt was just an I open

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don't know, Stan. This is a philosophical question that goes beyond me at 07:45.

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Okay. This this was my problem. I found this very distracting. I thought about this the whole time that we ate. You heard me talk about it. To me, what we consumed was not a grilled cheese sandwich. It was a melt. It was a delicious melt. It was a buffalo chicken melt. It was a

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pulled pork melt, but it was not a grilled cheese sandwich.

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Maybe grilled cheese is just better marketing, Stan.

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Perhaps.

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But I like, again, to me, this seems like it's misleading.

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Right? This is false advertising. They had a grilled cheese if you really wanted to be purist, Dan. There were, like, five kinds of cheese on it.

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And that's fine. That's fine. Now here's the thing. If you took a if you took that exact grilled cheese, and let's just say hypothetically that you took some,

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I don't know, barbecue potato chips,

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and put it on top of the cheese before you applied the top slice

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of bread, or here's another hypothetical. Let's say you took that same grilled cheese and you put some bacon on it before you put on that top piece of bread. Would that be a grilled cheese or would that be a melt?

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I'm not sure I've ever had a melt, Stan. Or I guess I have. I just wouldn't call it a melt. But it was always You've like been eating melts for a while now, John. That's that's all I can tell grilled ham and cheese.

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Is it still grilled cheese if you put ham on it and cook it the same way, or is that a It depends. Depends. And

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this is this is where I'm taking this. So when you think of that five cheese grilled cheese sandwich with, let's say, two slices of bacon,

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is the total volume of the cheese

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more

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or less than the volume of the bacon?

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Hopefully,

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more.

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Hopefully, more. More cheese.

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So so then if let's say you do the potato chip one, which by the way is pretty good. I had that once in Atlanta. I can highly recommend barbecue potato chips. Does whoever does

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whoever turned you on to listen to the podcast?

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I I don't think so. I highly doubt it. Well, you you Atlanta Pardot people, make sure that I'm sure you know who this is. I have no idea.

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Make sure he listens.

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Okay. Alright.

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But but my point is that the ratio of the cheese to whatever else is going on in that sandwich is the determining factor between a grilled cheese sandwich and a melt. So Interesting. In a grilled cheese sandwich, the cheese

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is the primary actor of the meal that you are consuming.

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In a melt,

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the cheese is merely a binding agent

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that holds together

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whatever else defines this sandwich. So, you know, again, the canonical example being a turkey melt. In a turkey melt,

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it is not the cheese that defines the sandwich, it's the turkey, and the melt part, the cheese, just holds it all together.

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You know, Stan, I would love to disagree with you just for the sake of argument on the podcast,

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but

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you make a valid argument. My logic is sound, John. My logic is sound. So, again,

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Nubo City Market, what however it's called Right. The City Melt Restaurant. Fantastic.

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I I recommend their food. Not necessarily their tomato soup because that was a little weird, but their sandwiches are spectacular.

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However,

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they should not refer to anything on their menu as grilled cheese. Except for the actual grilled cheese. Except for the actual grilled cheese. Yeah. That that's that's fair game.

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To be fair, I don't know if this was referred to as a grilled cheese. The name of the place is

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City Melt

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subtitled

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authentic grilled cheese sandwiches.

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Yes. Now on the menu,

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I just ordered a buffalo chicken.

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Still false advertising in my book. That's that's all I'll say. I I will Good marketing, Stan. Good marketing.

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Well, I'm gonna write the owner a letter, John. Dude. And I'm gonna call it out. I'm gonna I'm gonna call a spade a spade. I'm gonna direct him to this episode,

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where I give the the magical rule that defines a grilled cheese, which is the mass of the cheese outweighs the mass of whatever else is going on. Cheese to other stuff ratio. So in the past,

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I have done grilled cheese on my grill,

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and I would season it with some Italian seasonings,

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oregano,

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stuff like that, and add some

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basil or tomato inside the grilled cheese.

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Does that still count? Because I'm usually more cheese than tomato.

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I think it just all goes back to

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how much tomato and basil are you putting on there, and how much cheese are you putting on there. And so if you can if that if that tomato can be swallowed whole by the cheese,

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then it's a grilled cheese sandwich. If that tomato is crowding out the cheese,

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that's a tomato melt, my friend.

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Interesting.

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Interesting. I will tell you, since we're on the subject of grilled cheese, one of the most fantastic grilled cheese sandwiches I ever had was very

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different. It involved Fontina cheese,

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and then Have I ever had Fontina cheese?

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Gosh. I hope so. I would be really really sad if you didn't.

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Let me see. There was also there were

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candied Meyer lemons

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that were thinly sliced and placed on the grilled cheese, which is on rye

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before it was cooked. Interesting.

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Oh, it was it was absolutely delicious.

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Highly bread doesn't matter,

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but cheese ratio hold hold up. I didn't say that. I didn't say that at all.

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If if you go into this and all you do is slap a couple pieces of Wonder Bread on, you're gonna be disappointed. The bread certainly matters. It does not matter that white

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bread. You get some

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Wonder Bread and some American cheese slices,

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cut it into strips, dip it into a good homemade tomato soup.

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I think that's that's pretty good, man. Oh, I have so many problems with this. Okay. So first of all brings back memories from grade school hot lunch. When was the last time you ate a sandwich that was made that way, John? I can't remember. Well, I guess I probably have had a slice of American cheese on a burger someplace that I ordered. Never on one that I've doesn't that doesn't count. That's not that's not going back to the grilled cheese of your Yeah.

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So I haven't had American cheese in a long time.

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Okay. Alright. So first of all,

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when you ate that Wonder Bread, you liked it because you didn't know any better. It's possible.

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And the only way that you would eat it today and not be disgusted with yourself is because you soaked it in butter. Alright? Because Wonder Bread is bad.

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It's it's not good.

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Furthermore,

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those Kraft single little cheese slices that you liked so much, that's not even cheese. Right. That's cheese product. It's moist mostly soy product. But there's Not good. There's a surplus, Stan, so you can eat as much as you want.

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I

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I will tell you that if you can,

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Boar's Head makes actual,

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American cheese, and they will slice it for you at the deli. And as far as American cheese goes, it is pretty darn good, and I like it a lot.

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A lot.

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Missus Lemon actually will use that to make her from scratch,

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macaroni and cheese. Interesting. I digress.

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I'm gonna tell you how I make a grilled cheese sandwich, John,

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because I don't think you're gonna like it. That's because you don't grill it. You probably you make it in the oven, don't you? You're a darn right idea. Because you know what, John? I have to make a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches to feed a family of five. You could fit a lot of sandwiches on that grill of yours outside that you never used, Stan.

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John, are you are you kidding? Alright.

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So

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all seriousness now, I take two baking sheets, the lipped kind. I stick them in the oven, get them nice and hot.

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I pull one out,

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and I lay out my bread. It is buttered. Right? What kind of bread, Sam?

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Well, I I make my own classic sandwich bread. Sandwich bread. Okay. Yeah. Yep. You you can definitely mix up. One time, I made an Italian herb

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bread that we used for this. But the the point being, I lay it out, and then the other the the other thing I do is I get blocks of cheese.

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I get sharp cheddar, and I get Monterey Jack. I grate them up. K? So grated cheese.

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And then I mix them. Right? And I just grab a handful, and I drop it on that bread, and then I put the second slice of bread on it. And then I stick that in the oven. I take that other hot

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baking sheet, and I actually put it on top.

SPEAKER_0 [00:19:41]

And that's how I make,

SPEAKER_0 [00:19:43]

basically grilled cheese for a crowd. It only takes, I'd say, like, five minutes to do them that Totally

SPEAKER_1 [00:19:49]

worth it. Totally worth We

SPEAKER_1 [00:19:52]

might have to have a grilled cheese cook off one of these times. I would love to do that, Chad. I like your idea of the shredded cheese, promotes uniform melting,

SPEAKER_1 [00:20:02]

so I can get behind that. Not sure I can get behind making grilled cheese in the oven.

SPEAKER_0 [00:20:07]

Don't knock until you tried it, buddy. I'll tell you this. At that point, is it grilled cheese?

SPEAKER_0 [00:20:13]

Are you kidding me right now? It's like broiled cheese or If you do it in a skillet, there's no grill involved.

SPEAKER_0 [00:20:20]

Agreed. Is it

SPEAKER_0 [00:20:25]

does a grill mean only that you go outside

SPEAKER_0 [00:20:29]

and slap it on an open flame?

SPEAKER_1 [00:20:32]

No. But I think you need grates.

SPEAKER_0 [00:20:35]

Grates. So grates are the requisite for a grill?

SPEAKER_0 [00:20:39]

Yeah.

SPEAKER_1 [00:20:40]

Okay. I mean, there is such a thing as a flat top grill.

SPEAKER_0 [00:20:43]

But Okay. Well, let's qualify that for me, John. What's the difference between a flat top grill and, say, my,

SPEAKER_0 [00:20:50]

griddle?

SPEAKER_1 [00:20:54]

Flat top row stationary,

SPEAKER_1 [00:20:56]

and you can't put it away in a cabinet.

SPEAKER_0 [00:20:59]

Unbelievable.

SPEAKER_0 [00:21:00]

Alright. I rest my case. I rest my case.

SPEAKER_1 [00:21:05]

Who wanted to talk about grilled cheese anyway? Alright. Right. We're talking about Iowa.

SPEAKER_0 [00:21:10]

We are. We are. So bottom line, good grilled excuse me. Good melt

SPEAKER_1 [00:21:15]

Good melt. But not a grilled cheese. At City Melt. There's also good barbecue at that place. Stan wouldn't go anywhere near the pizza, but they had an actual pizza oven there. So

SPEAKER_0 [00:21:26]

You know what? I

SPEAKER_0 [00:21:27]

just I don't believe it was good pizza. There's no way. There's no way.

SPEAKER_1 [00:21:32]

If we called it something else? Can we call it a flatbread?

SPEAKER_0 [00:21:36]

It depends. Does it have red sauce and mozzarella?

SPEAKER_0 [00:21:39]

Yes. So, it's a pizza. Alright. Yeah. Then it's a pizza. Right? If it doesn't have red sauce and mozzarella,

SPEAKER_0 [00:21:46]

it's a flatbread.

SPEAKER_0 [00:21:47]

So thought we talked about this last time.

SPEAKER_1 [00:21:50]

We did, but did did we talk about it on air? Maybe we did.

SPEAKER_0 [00:21:54]

I it all blends together for me, John. Just

SPEAKER_1 [00:21:57]

living life with a twist of loving.

SPEAKER_0 [00:21:59]

There you go.

SPEAKER_0 [00:22:01]

Okay, John. So it's we we gotta do it, man. We gotta talk about the Hambergen. The Hambergen.

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:07]

All of my Iowa listeners are gonna be very disappointed in me

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:11]

because

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:13]

I don't know if there was anything that I liked about the Hambergen.

SPEAKER_0 [00:22:16]

Company was good.

SPEAKER_0 [00:22:18]

So let's let's back up just a hot minute. I don't remember which episode. Maybe, maybe we can find it. But Six,

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:25]

five, some somewhere early. You

SPEAKER_0 [00:22:27]

were going to go to this place

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:30]

For Milkshake

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:31]

specifically. Yeah. So this was right at the beginning of the school year.

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:34]

The college kids had this planned,

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:38]

start of the school year

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:40]

event,

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:41]

where they were gonna make a milkshake run.

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:44]

And we were gonna go to the Hamburg

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:46]

Inn, home of the pie shake, grab some milkshakes,

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:50]

and have

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:51]

some good conversations with fellow Lutherans,

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:55]

who are members of the campus ministry.

SPEAKER_1 [00:22:58]

We get there. It's very, very busy.

SPEAKER_1 [00:23:02]

So

SPEAKER_1 [00:23:03]

plan b was we went to go get frozen yogurt.

SPEAKER_0 [00:23:07]

I And I believe I called that out as a travesty. Milkshake.

SPEAKER_1 [00:23:12]

It was a travesty.

SPEAKER_1 [00:23:13]

The frozen yogurt was good. The company was good, but no milkshake.

SPEAKER_1 [00:23:18]

Froyo I should have stopped them. You told me. Yes. I know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_0 [00:23:22]

Froyo is not a substitution for a milkshake, and, yes, you should have stopped them. You should have served your neighbor

SPEAKER_0 [00:23:29]

by defending them from evil

SPEAKER_0 [00:23:31]

and and pointing them to another milkshake. That said. That said. That's what started out. We can now assess whether or not you did them a service or not. Oh.

SPEAKER_0 [00:23:43]

So let's let's let's first set up the context. What's special about the Hamburger Inn too?

SPEAKER_1 [00:23:47]

So that's kind of the place to stop for all of the presidential candidates who stopped through Iowa City. Iowa being

SPEAKER_1 [00:23:55]

the first

SPEAKER_1 [00:23:56]

primary

SPEAKER_1 [00:23:58]

heavy for

SPEAKER_1 [00:23:59]

presidential candidates.

SPEAKER_1 [00:24:02]

So Iowa City is usually a big stop because home of the University of Iowa Hawkeyes.

SPEAKER_1 [00:24:08]

Hambergen,

SPEAKER_1 [00:24:09]

I don't really know how that became a thing. It's this little diner

SPEAKER_1 [00:24:13]

type shop,

SPEAKER_1 [00:24:15]

locally owned, so I guess it has that going for it.

SPEAKER_1 [00:24:19]

But that's where they stop. It's kinda in the main uptown

SPEAKER_1 [00:24:25]

district and

SPEAKER_1 [00:24:26]

yeah.

SPEAKER_0 [00:24:27]

The the place is tiny, and it is plastered

SPEAKER_0 [00:24:31]

with photos

SPEAKER_0 [00:24:32]

of politicians

SPEAKER_0 [00:24:33]

of various sorts

SPEAKER_0 [00:24:35]

who have wined and dined well, I shouldn't say wined, but probably, like, milkshaked and dined

SPEAKER_0 [00:24:41]

in this restaurant. I think next to the left of my head was a picture of Bill Clinton eating lunch at the Hamburger too,

SPEAKER_0 [00:24:50]

signed.

SPEAKER_1 [00:24:51]

I mean, the whole place is just covered with with pictures. Right.

SPEAKER_1 [00:24:56]

So that's kind of the thing.

SPEAKER_1 [00:24:59]

Early on when Anna started visiting me here, pastor told me that we should go,

SPEAKER_1 [00:25:04]

eat at the Hamburger Inn, because that's a place where people go.

SPEAKER_1 [00:25:09]

We tried once, but it was busy

SPEAKER_0 [00:25:11]

running through no patience apparently for busy restaurants. That's what I learned.

SPEAKER_1 [00:25:16]

I don't like people that much, Stan. So being in small spaces surrounded by people invading my personal bubble,

SPEAKER_1 [00:25:23]

not the recipe for a good time for John.

SPEAKER_0 [00:25:26]

Okay. So we

SPEAKER_0 [00:25:28]

waited, what, about

SPEAKER_0 [00:25:30]

fifteen minutes at most, would you say?

SPEAKER_1 [00:25:32]

Was it was it only fifteen minutes, Sam?

SPEAKER_0 [00:25:36]

It was it was not terribly long.

SPEAKER_0 [00:25:38]

However, we were elbow to elbow. I was actually sitting in somebody's lap at one point because I got pushed. You

SPEAKER_0 [00:25:44]

found a corner, and you did your best to hide from the world. It was

SPEAKER_0 [00:25:49]

freakishly cold outside and windy. So every time we opened yeah. The door

SPEAKER_0 [00:25:54]

We walked. Good lord. Because John didn't wanna have to find parking. There was parking right outside the restaurant too.

SPEAKER_0 [00:26:00]

But

SPEAKER_0 [00:26:02]

the the once we got seated, it was I thought it was fine. Like, it wasn't as stressful, right, that we were so crowded. It was it was still pretty cramped.

SPEAKER_1 [00:26:12]

I sat on the end. There was a nice little aisle between me and the next table,

SPEAKER_1 [00:26:15]

so there's that. But we we didn't have a lot of elbow room on the table. John, I sat next to you.

SPEAKER_1 [00:26:22]

On the left side. On the right side, yeah, there was space.

SPEAKER_1 [00:26:25]

So you're saying it was cramped because I was next to you? No. It was cramped in general. Anna could have been sitting next to me, and I would have felt cramped.

SPEAKER_0 [00:26:33]

Mhmm.

SPEAKER_0 [00:26:34]

Alright.

SPEAKER_0 [00:26:35]

You got yourself a hamburger. I got myself some eggs. How was your hamburger?

SPEAKER_1 [00:26:40]

Not great.

SPEAKER_0 [00:26:41]

Well, what's wrong with it?

SPEAKER_1 [00:26:44]

Overcooked.

SPEAKER_1 [00:26:46]

Just overall flavor profile,

SPEAKER_1 [00:26:49]

not great. Bun was nothing special. It was better than I originally thought it would be, the bun itself,

SPEAKER_1 [00:26:55]

but still,

SPEAKER_1 [00:26:56]

I've had

SPEAKER_1 [00:26:58]

better burgers.

SPEAKER_1 [00:27:00]

Would have rather gone to Five Guys.

SPEAKER_0 [00:27:03]

Five Guys is a good burger. So I just got eggs. Nothing special. Nothing fancy. I would say they did perfectly fine. I would order eggs there again given the option.

SPEAKER_0 [00:27:12]

But, John, we weren't there for the milkshake or for the eggs, were we? Correct.

SPEAKER_1 [00:27:17]

First thing we ordered

SPEAKER_1 [00:27:18]

were milkshakes.

SPEAKER_0 [00:27:20]

And they do something that I would say is a bit different there as far as milkshakes go. Right?

SPEAKER_1 [00:27:28]

Are you talking about pie shake?

SPEAKER_0 [00:27:30]

The pie shake. The pie I am talking about the pie shake. So they

SPEAKER_1 [00:27:34]

put pie in their milkshakes. So you got, like, the Portillo's

SPEAKER_1 [00:27:38]

chocolate cake shake,

SPEAKER_1 [00:27:40]

and then you got the Hamburger number two pie shake. And you can choose any kind of pie that they have

SPEAKER_1 [00:27:47]

to go into the shake.

SPEAKER_0 [00:27:49]

Now you did not do a pie shake, did you, John? No. I'm sticking with the baseline chocolate milkshake

SPEAKER_1 [00:27:55]

as the initial milkshake that I have to test out

SPEAKER_1 [00:27:59]

a new place.

SPEAKER_0 [00:28:00]

And see, I'm coming at it from the standpoint of I wanna try whatever it is that's their, like, headline feature. Right? Right. So Pie Shake, thought, I gotta try that. That's new. That's different.

SPEAKER_0 [00:28:12]

Now, I did call the day before. Right? So that I could get a list of the pies

SPEAKER_0 [00:28:17]

that were available, because I thought about it all night.

SPEAKER_0 [00:28:20]

And I am I am a sucker

SPEAKER_0 [00:28:22]

for a rhubarb, like, in general. Right? A straight up rhubarb pie is about as close to heaven as I'm gonna get on this side of etern of of life.

SPEAKER_0 [00:28:32]

They had strawberry rhubarb pie, which is a close second contender.

SPEAKER_0 [00:28:35]

So I got that

SPEAKER_0 [00:28:37]

for my pie shake.

SPEAKER_0 [00:28:40]

Your wife

SPEAKER_0 [00:28:42]

got something else, didn't she? She got the chocolate pecan

SPEAKER_0 [00:28:46]

something other.

SPEAKER_1 [00:28:48]

Sounds reasonable.

SPEAKER_1 [00:28:50]

I didn't try it, so I should've tried it, but I didn't.

SPEAKER_0 [00:28:54]

Well, I it sounded good from her,

SPEAKER_0 [00:28:58]

description of it. But I would say we the whole time, right, we were contemplating how were we gonna consume this thing. Right?

SPEAKER_0 [00:29:05]

And I think it was answered for us on delivery. Was it not? Yes. Yes. It was. Now it's this beautiful looking milkshake,

SPEAKER_1 [00:29:13]

comes in this tall kind of parlor style glass,

SPEAKER_1 [00:29:17]

whipped cream on top, no cherry.

SPEAKER_1 [00:29:20]

And

SPEAKER_1 [00:29:21]

standing out of the milkshake

SPEAKER_1 [00:29:23]

is the metal handle of a spoon.

SPEAKER_0 [00:29:28]

Now we've seen milkshakes that came with spoons before, but they've always been accompanied by a straw, and there was no straw to be seen. No straw.

SPEAKER_1 [00:29:36]

I think they're anti plastic.

SPEAKER_1 [00:29:39]

Oh, really? Interesting. Really know. That's but there was no straw in my water glass either. So

SPEAKER_0 [00:29:45]

That would have been an interesting data point to add to this.

SPEAKER_0 [00:29:49]

I can't imagine consuming

SPEAKER_0 [00:29:50]

that milkshake with a straw, though. I I really can't. I don't know. Was was yours

SPEAKER_0 [00:29:55]

sans the pie

SPEAKER_0 [00:29:57]

consumable by a straw?

SPEAKER_1 [00:29:59]

Maybe if I wait an hour for things to turn into soup.

SPEAKER_0 [00:30:03]

Now was that do you think they mixed it?

SPEAKER_1 [00:30:07]

I do.

SPEAKER_0 [00:30:08]

Okay. Just not not well or what? I just think the

SPEAKER_1 [00:30:13]

ice cream to milk ratio

SPEAKER_1 [00:30:16]

was not where it should have been. Not enough milk.

SPEAKER_0 [00:30:19]

Okay.

SPEAKER_0 [00:30:20]

That sounds fair. So with mine, the pie was well broken up for the most part. I only had a couple of what I would call,

SPEAKER_0 [00:30:28]

like, asteroid sized

SPEAKER_0 [00:30:30]

chunks,

SPEAKER_0 [00:30:31]

and they were mostly predominantly dough,

SPEAKER_0 [00:30:34]

like like the larger chunks. But, you know, only two or three of those really stood out to me. I still, though, the again, I think to your point, the milk ratio was off, and so maybe this is intentional because of the pie. I don't I really don't know. People like thick milkshakes these days, and we just aren't those people, Stan.

SPEAKER_0 [00:30:52]

Well, again, because I think one of the critical components of a milkshake is that you can slurp it through a straw. A milkshake is a drink. Right? And if you cannot drink it, then it is not a milkshake.

SPEAKER_0 [00:31:04]

You can do all the steps necessary to assemble a milkshake and still end up without a milkshake if it cannot be drank.

SPEAKER_0 [00:31:11]

And I think that is the thing that caused conflict within me at the Hamburger two. They called it a milkshake.

SPEAKER_0 [00:31:19]

It looked like a milkshake,

SPEAKER_0 [00:31:20]

but I couldn't drink it. Yep.

SPEAKER_1 [00:31:24]

So

SPEAKER_1 [00:31:25]

that was sad.

SPEAKER_1 [00:31:26]

Flavor profile, mine,

SPEAKER_1 [00:31:29]

not the worst chocolate shake flavor I've ever had.

SPEAKER_1 [00:31:33]

Not the best either.

SPEAKER_0 [00:31:35]

Would you say it was predominantly syrup based, or was it actual chocolate ice cream? I think it was chocolate ice cream.

SPEAKER_0 [00:31:40]

I wonder if they used chocolate milk with their chocolate ice cream or not. That

SPEAKER_0 [00:31:47]

would be I feel like that could that could give a milkshake an advantage. That's another thing,

SPEAKER_1 [00:31:52]

where this would lose points

SPEAKER_1 [00:31:54]

is the milkshakes were not made in a place where we could see them being made.

SPEAKER_0 [00:31:59]

Yeah. They I mean, we didn't even hear them. Like Right. Wherever they happened, it was out of sight, out of mind. And I agree. That's also part of the experience.

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:08]

So

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:09]

hamburger number two after much hype,

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:12]

kind of a bust.

SPEAKER_0 [00:32:14]

Alright. Last question, John.

SPEAKER_0 [00:32:16]

Is this the end of the milkshake reviews?

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:19]

I have given up on all milkshakes.

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:23]

I'm a Five Guys purist,

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:25]

and so we're just gonna keep it there for a while. You are a free lemon,

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:30]

so you go have whatever milkshakes you want.

SPEAKER_0 [00:32:33]

So if you show up at a Five Guys tomorrow, are you ordering a milkshake?

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:38]

Probably.

SPEAKER_0 [00:32:39]

Okay. Alright. Alright.

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:42]

Well, that's good to know.

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:46]

There's one way you can turn this around, Stan.

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:49]

If you purchase your own

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:52]

milkshake

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:53]

mixing

SPEAKER_1 [00:32:54]

machine.

SPEAKER_0 [00:32:55]

I feel like if ever there was to be a GoFundMe or a Patreon, this is the thing that we should go for. Right? Yes.

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:03]

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:04]

Or two,

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:05]

one for Iowa,

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:07]

one for Indianapolis.

SPEAKER_0 [00:33:09]

I think you're too cheap to buy ice cream to actually make yourself a milkshake though, John. I've seen your fridge. So I would do a milkshake, but it would be like, in the summer thing probably once or twice.

SPEAKER_0 [00:33:21]

Yeah. See, I'm I'm actually scared of what it would do to not only my budget,

SPEAKER_0 [00:33:26]

my my grocery budget as well as my clothing budget as I continue to expand my wardrobe. Indeed.

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:32]

And

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:33]

missus Lemon

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:34]

loves all things ice cream. I wish she would come and review a milkshake here,

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:39]

but she's anti life with twist of lemon.

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:43]

I don't know that she's anti. I think she's she's unmotivated.

SPEAKER_0 [00:33:46]

Unmotivated.

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:48]

We

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:50]

just need more lemon in our life.

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:54]

Yeah.

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:56]

Alright.

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:57]

Other things in Iowa,

SPEAKER_1 [00:33:59]

we tried to do some home improvement.

SPEAKER_1 [00:34:02]

It didn't go so smoothly, did it, John? No. We we made a couple trips to Lowe's,

SPEAKER_0 [00:34:07]

and it's kinda sad because we weren't even ripping out a wall or anything or No. Anything. We're trying to replace a doorbell, and we found that, one, your wiring arrangement was

SPEAKER_0 [00:34:18]

odd. Yeah.

SPEAKER_0 [00:34:20]

And then we couldn't find the transformer

SPEAKER_0 [00:34:23]

for the doorbell.

SPEAKER_0 [00:34:24]

We suspect that it might be up in the attic. Up in the attic. They to get to the

SPEAKER_0 [00:34:31]

long way to run the wire to it. At least that's that's my conclusion.

SPEAKER_1 [00:34:36]

Yeah.

SPEAKER_0 [00:34:37]

So I'm curious. Did you ever get your doorbell back together?

SPEAKER_1 [00:34:41]

Yes. I have a functioning doorbell now.

SPEAKER_1 [00:34:44]

Not the original plan,

SPEAKER_1 [00:34:47]

because originally,

SPEAKER_1 [00:34:48]

I tried the doorbell, see what it sounded like. It didn't work.

SPEAKER_1 [00:34:52]

Discovered that the actual doorbell unit with, like, the chime part

SPEAKER_1 [00:34:58]

wasn't there. Somebody had removed it.

SPEAKER_1 [00:35:01]

Probably made a dog go crazy or something like that.

SPEAKER_1 [00:35:04]

So I figured, alright. We'll go buy a new doorbell unit,

SPEAKER_1 [00:35:08]

hook up the wires that were hanging on the wall,

SPEAKER_1 [00:35:11]

and we'd be good to go.

SPEAKER_1 [00:35:13]

And it just didn't work, Stan. We had too many wires

SPEAKER_1 [00:35:17]

to match the doorbell.

SPEAKER_0 [00:35:20]

Pretty sure that what they did was they ran multiple two pairs rather than a a proper

SPEAKER_0 [00:35:27]

doorbell wire. I I don't know. Who knows, though? It was we guessed. We tried a couple combinations.

SPEAKER_1 [00:35:32]

We tried all the combinations.

SPEAKER_0 [00:35:34]

The actual

SPEAKER_0 [00:35:35]

doorbell itself did not have power to it, which probably means something's screwed up at the transformer,

SPEAKER_0 [00:35:41]

but we couldn't find it. Again, probably in the attic.

SPEAKER_0 [00:35:44]

But it was, like, negative four degrees, and I wasn't going in your attic. Not to mention, you didn't have a ladder. No ladder. And the access to the attic is through

SPEAKER_1 [00:35:54]

my closet.

SPEAKER_0 [00:35:56]

What kind of guy buys a house and doesn't have a ladder?

SPEAKER_1 [00:36:01]

The kind of guy who just bought a house in November and moved from an apartment.

SPEAKER_0 [00:36:05]

I think you need a ladder, John.

SPEAKER_1 [00:36:08]

The ladder is on the list along with a lawnmower

SPEAKER_1 [00:36:10]

and a whole bunch of other hens.

SPEAKER_0 [00:36:13]

Well,

SPEAKER_0 [00:36:14]

get that ladder sooner than later.

SPEAKER_0 [00:36:17]

But you you got a wireless doorbell. Right? That's how you end Wireless doorbell.

SPEAKER_1 [00:36:21]

So

SPEAKER_1 [00:36:23]

then we open it up. Oh, it takes c batteries.

SPEAKER_1 [00:36:27]

So we gave up while Lemon was here, and Lemon was worthless to me. And I was left to fend for myself,

SPEAKER_1 [00:36:33]

buy my c batteries,

SPEAKER_1 [00:36:35]

and put the three batteries into the doorbell unit,

SPEAKER_1 [00:36:38]

and then attach the actual button

SPEAKER_1 [00:36:40]

to the outside.

SPEAKER_0 [00:36:42]

You can say I was worthless, but I did help you determine that one, your doorbell situation was whack.

SPEAKER_0 [00:36:48]

And two, I did steer you towards the wireless doorbell. Did I not? You did. That's true.

SPEAKER_1 [00:36:54]

You saved me a bunch of money because if you weren't around, probably would have bought a ring.

SPEAKER_0 [00:37:00]

You should you should still buy a ring, John. One day.

SPEAKER_1 [00:37:04]

People don't come visit me. Like, you're the first visitor I personally have had here. I guess my parents came, but they didn't stay here.

SPEAKER_1 [00:37:12]

Anna's had friends over. I have not. You're my only friend, and you live in Indianapolis.

SPEAKER_0 [00:37:18]

I'm here for you, John. Thanks, man.

SPEAKER_0 [00:37:20]

So what's this business about Netflix being free?

SPEAKER_1 [00:37:24]

It's

SPEAKER_1 [00:37:25]

not that Netflix is free. It is that I am free of Netflix.

SPEAKER_0 [00:37:29]

Woah.

SPEAKER_1 [00:37:30]

Just canceled my Netflix subscription for the second time ever.

SPEAKER_1 [00:37:35]

So I'm not one of those people who cancels on a yearly basis or whenever there's things that I wanna watch.

SPEAKER_1 [00:37:41]

The first time

SPEAKER_1 [00:37:43]

the first time Netflix,

SPEAKER_1 [00:37:45]

was still back in the DVD days when I was getting DVDs through the mail,

SPEAKER_1 [00:37:50]

and they

SPEAKER_1 [00:37:51]

introduced streaming.

SPEAKER_1 [00:37:53]

And streaming was all part of the same plan, And then they wanted to break up streaming and the DVD plan into two businesses

SPEAKER_1 [00:38:01]

and double my rate, so I canceled it. I was Netflix free for

SPEAKER_1 [00:38:06]

almost two years, I wanna say, when that happened because I was ticked.

SPEAKER_1 [00:38:11]

So at some point, I came back,

SPEAKER_1 [00:38:13]

and I've been on Netflix ever since.

SPEAKER_1 [00:38:17]

Now

SPEAKER_1 [00:38:18]

I don't use it as often as I have been. I've been watching some more Amazon Prime stuff when I'm cycling and stuff like that, And they raised rates yet again,

SPEAKER_1 [00:38:28]

so that kinda pulled the trigger for me.

SPEAKER_0 [00:38:32]

Interesting. So you finished everything you wanted to watch?

SPEAKER_1 [00:38:35]

I finished everything that I had in progress. I mean, you can always find stuff to watch. Like, I still haven't seen all of the West Wing stan.

SPEAKER_1 [00:38:43]

What?

SPEAKER_1 [00:38:44]

I know.

SPEAKER_0 [00:38:45]

That's one of the greatest shows of all time. There's a podcast where they go through the episodes, isn't there? There is. The I'm serious. The first three seasons are some of the best writing on television. It's up there with justified in my book.

SPEAKER_1 [00:38:58]

Nice.

SPEAKER_1 [00:38:58]

I like justified. That's

SPEAKER_1 [00:39:00]

a good good show. Now all I have is Amazon Prime.

SPEAKER_1 [00:39:04]

I will

SPEAKER_1 [00:39:06]

probably subscribe to HBO

SPEAKER_1 [00:39:08]

for

SPEAKER_1 [00:39:10]

two months or however long the last Game of Thrones seasons will run.

SPEAKER_1 [00:39:14]

That comes pretty soon. April.

SPEAKER_0 [00:39:17]

April 5. It'll probably wind up being three months because that's kinda how that tends to work. Got it. It's like it's like two months and one week. Right? And so no matter how you set it up, you get get kinda

SPEAKER_1 [00:39:30]

Or I'll just wait,

SPEAKER_0 [00:39:33]

and then I'll binge watch it all. I I assure you that you do not wanna wait because I don't think that I have the personal restraint not to spoil it for you.

SPEAKER_1 [00:39:42]

Alright.

SPEAKER_1 [00:39:43]

Fair enough.

SPEAKER_1 [00:39:44]

So that will come,

SPEAKER_1 [00:39:45]

and I'm hoping to read a lot more, really, is what it comes down to. What's on your bookshelf, John? What are you reading right now? Currently reading the Iliad by Homer.

SPEAKER_0 [00:39:55]

Okay.

SPEAKER_0 [00:39:56]

You're making good progress?

SPEAKER_1 [00:39:59]

When I actually sit and read it, I have not been in my reading habit. So hopefully,

SPEAKER_1 [00:40:04]

when

SPEAKER_1 [00:40:05]

I don't have anything going on, I'll start reading again.

SPEAKER_0 [00:40:08]

I finished the book that I was reading about Franklin Pierce while I was there in Iowa, and I managed to find a book

SPEAKER_0 [00:40:16]

on president James Buchanan.

SPEAKER_0 [00:40:20]

It, there are not that many books about James Buchanan. It Which is odd because he is the president

SPEAKER_1 [00:40:26]

who preceded Lincoln. Correct? Yeah. He was a hot mess. Take that, US history teachers of old.

SPEAKER_0 [00:40:34]

It's it's interesting. This guy was around for a while. He was in,

SPEAKER_0 [00:40:39]

actually, he might have been the secretary of state during Pierce. Anyhow, like, he he's just he's around for a number of presidents before

SPEAKER_0 [00:40:46]

he actually takes office.

SPEAKER_0 [00:40:48]

But, you know, he kinda gets a bad rap.

SPEAKER_0 [00:40:51]

Well, I don't know. I I haven't read enough to say if he gets a bad rap or if it's well deserved. But the presidents prior to Lincoln don't typically

SPEAKER_0 [00:40:58]

have a good reputation.

SPEAKER_0 [00:41:01]

And I would say that that as far as Franklin Pierce goes,

SPEAKER_0 [00:41:04]

his reputation was earned.

SPEAKER_0 [00:41:07]

But I'm looking forward to getting past this one, getting into Lincoln,

SPEAKER_0 [00:41:10]

and then beyond. But this is a this is a hefty book. I we're on the video stream, so you can see it's like it's huge. And then if you look at the the actual

SPEAKER_1 [00:41:19]

text, like Yeah. It's

SPEAKER_0 [00:41:22]

there's a lot of words here. Right. So it might take me a little while.

SPEAKER_1 [00:41:25]

Alright. Last thing so we don't go super long again this episode.

SPEAKER_1 [00:41:29]

Made you an Aperol Negroni. We talked about it last episode. What's all involved?

SPEAKER_1 [00:41:34]

What did you think?

SPEAKER_0 [00:41:37]

It's

SPEAKER_0 [00:41:38]

fine. I didn't I don't know. It didn't wow me. I was trying to figure out

SPEAKER_0 [00:41:44]

I was trying to figure out when I would drink it. Like, what would what would the circumstances be that would compel me to have one? We had that with the chicken paprikash.

SPEAKER_0 [00:41:52]

Right?

SPEAKER_1 [00:41:53]

That was before. Yes. Right beforehand. Okay. Yep.

SPEAKER_0 [00:41:58]

I I mean, it's alright. Like, I I don't know the aperol?

SPEAKER_0 [00:42:01]

Aperol? Aperol?

SPEAKER_1 [00:42:03]

Aperol is the Italian aperitif.

SPEAKER_0 [00:42:06]

Aperitif. I don't know what any of that means. I still don't. Right? We talked about it before. I I have no idea. But the aperitif thing, I think maybe I need to try it again before I completely rule it out, but I I I'm not at a point at which I'm making Negronis at the house. How's that? I'll use a better gin for you next time, Stan.

SPEAKER_0 [00:42:24]

You really think the gin was the problem?

SPEAKER_1 [00:42:26]

No. I think that you need you probably need a good gin and

SPEAKER_1 [00:42:30]

actual Campari,

SPEAKER_1 [00:42:32]

but I went with Aperol instead of Campari this time. Campari is gonna be a tall order for me, John. Yeah. I know.

SPEAKER_1 [00:42:40]

Alright.

SPEAKER_1 [00:42:41]

Another episode in the books. Still waiting for our tenth review on iTunes.

SPEAKER_1 [00:42:46]

I don't think we'll have another bonus episode this week. We have nothing else to talk about.

SPEAKER_1 [00:42:51]

So

SPEAKER_1 [00:42:54]

we'll see you next week with episode 37.

SPEAKER_0 [00:42:58]

SPEAKER_0 [00:42:59]

Yeah. You can find us on

SPEAKER_0 [00:43:01]

Twitter and Facebook at twist of lemon pod,

SPEAKER_0 [00:43:04]

and on the interwebs at twistoflemonpod.com.

SPEAKER_1 [00:43:10]

See you later.